57 Witty Memes for the Bickering, Nagging Old Married Couples (April 18, 2024)

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 18, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

Everyone knows how hard a relationship can be. From meeting, to dating, to immerging lives together, moving in, getting married, to raising children; it's no small feat and life has a knack for playing a tune we're never heard before just to laugh and see how much we can handle. Sometimes it's too much, and many couples break from the pressures of life. 

This post is to toast couples who have made it through thick and thin. Who have held their gauntlet of commitment, loyalty, and love to the heavens for eternal togetherness. To go through life's hurdles and still find closeness and compassion between each other is a beautiful sacrament that can be celebrated at any given day. Ladies, we know that your Mister wasn't born like that, and it took a lot of patience and teaching to get him to be right for you, but here's the time to reminisce about all the good times, the young times, the bad times that are now over, and be in bliss about what two people have accomplished together. 

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  • 01
    WHY TO NEVER TRY TO LOAD THE DISHWASHER TOGETHER. mematic.net
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  • 02
    Peace (meh) on Earth @TheAlexNevil Follow The Mrs and I have been married so long she can finish my sentences. She also starts most of them and supplies the middle parts too. 12:53 AM - 12 Apr 2016 <<< 230 421
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  • 03
    Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life. your ecards someecards.com
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  • 04
    Mme Mumsie @MUMSIEesq Follow My husband just texted me from the bathroom and asked me to bring him "A LOT more toilet paper," so yeah, the romance ain't dead people. 12:42 PM 8 Mar 2016 - <<< 323 679
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  • 05
    If this marriage only lasts for 3 months we know because of who see
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  • 06
    WIFE: He treats our marriage like it's a talk show THERAPIST: Is this true? ME: *turns and winks at camera* We'll find out after the break @dafloydsta
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  • 07
    imgflip.com MAKE ME A SANDWICH IF I CAN STILL WALK TO THE KITCHEN AFTER YOU BANG ME, YOU DON'T DESERVE A SANDWICH
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  • 08
    eric @ericsshadow Follow My wife is finally coming home from her week long trip, so you know what I'm getting tonight... yelled at. I'm gonna get yelled at.
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  • 09
    Asked my wife where eye drops were: "In The Bedroom On The Tv Stand Under The Lightswitch Slightly Trapped Between The Wall."
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  • 10
    She takes a selfie of me any time we are having an argument.
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  • 11
    After all these years, my dad still pulls out an atlas just to prove my mother wrong.
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  • 12
    Josh @iwearaonesie Before I got married I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge RETWEETS 2,077 LIKES 3,295 10:41 AM -10 Jun 2015 W
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  • 13
    James Breakwell ❤ @xplodingUnicorn +Follow My wife and I are about to assemble a TV stand as a team. I'm telling you now because this is probably my last post as a married man. RETWEETS LIKES 365 4,306 4:05 PM - 2 Jan 2017 55 £365 4.3K
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  • 14
    SPRO You ALREADY You ATE YOURS! GAY Carrot Pi Cake
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  • 15
    THERE IS A SPIDER MY HUSBAND ISN'T HOME mematic.net
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  • 16
    Amy Dillon @amydillon ME: I bought you some new undershirts. HIM: [genuinely] That's exciting. NARRATOR: Marriage.
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  • 17
    Wife told me this license plate reminded her of me. 2HR POO ASTRO
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  • 18
    Just Linda LindalnDisguise Know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved when first dating? After 20 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as "motive". RETWEETS LIKES 1,166 1,754 4:36 AM -11 May 2013
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  • 19
    A tomato is Just a flower that gut prequant. It's rounder, but Still pretty! ♡
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  • 20
    Wife wanted a dog. I didn't. So we compromised. Meet our new dog.
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  • 21
    HELP ME Wife said I could decorate the guest bathroom.
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  • 22
    MAURIN Wife home vs. wife away for work... SO YOU THINK YOU C DANCE ALL NEW ROCKBAND 2 DENCE The inals Tito
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  • 23
    To myy Diba en w snals 4 2 1 $ brick the ma 3 evedo Come home to me Thugk LING and 2 Thank the Lot Wife packs notes in my lunch everyday. I have been collecting_ them in my office at work. in the mar you for being SAMS Such a wonde Man of God. To my husband- band my garage b Dibs King on weekend Sngls. ♡ are my Knight in shining armor. Thank Thank for everything that you do for us. Thank you so much for everything you co. I for afe mu Superman, without the boring Movie want more naked pizza nigh
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  • 24
    I love you so much baby. I will SEE you tomorrow. Hopefully you get some very well deserved rest. Goodnight love. P.S. on the back is a nude
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  • 25
    RANOITS TimTam wi ORIGINA WY 2 TAR PACKS TOGETHER LOANTAS 50 TRIPS IN 50 DAYS The cruelest thing my wife has ever done to me.
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  • 26
    Sunday Monday November 2013 3 & Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Notes Friday Saturday 1 818 5 7 2 75 8 9 20 12 13 Married life is pure excitement... 17 18 19 20 21 Ham Expres 22 16 23 24 25 26 Thane kind that it Notes ON O Cas One Day) 27 28 29 30 21 Ham Expires 22 28 29
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  • 27
    mark @TheCatWhisprer [facebook] "5 years ago i married my best friend, my soulmate, i love you" [real life] +Follow "eat all the leftovers again and i will end you" RETWEETS 811 LIKES 1,878 6:57 AM-5 Oct 2016 1811 1.9K
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  • 28
    Still embarrassing their kids after 41 years of marriage Museumn of ass
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  • 29
    mark @TheCatWhisprer Follow Marriage is about finding that special someone to disagree with about the room temperature until you die. RETWEETS LIKES 294 510 8:03 AM 21 May 2016
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  • 30
    Wore this during wife's labor. She was not amused. DID THIS TO YOU.
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  • 31
    buy MORE Mex NO James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn Follow My wife and I hit an important marriage milestone. We had a fight entirely in fridge magnets. 10:52 AM - 4 Jun 2015 15,918 @ 22,408
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  • 32
    PaperWash @PaperWash Grandparents stayed married 50 years Follow cause Grandma couldn't text "What are you doing?" "Where are you?" & "Why are you ignoring me?" all day RETWEETS FAVORITES 4,866 5,419
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  • 33
    James Breakwell @XplodingUnicor Follow Marriage status: My wife refused to move, so I made the bed over the top of her. 7:56 PM - 11 Jun 2017 7,023 20,686
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  • 34
    Wife and I spent an hour trying to get the cat to turn off the lights so we wouldn't have to get out of bed.
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  • 35
    When wives want to go shopping... ENE EXE BE EXE EXE BE BE
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  • 36
    Josh Hara @yoyoha Follow Marriage is like coffee. First it's really hot. Then it's just right. Then it helps you get off your 8:01 PM - 10 Feb 2016 and do things. h £I 182 367
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  • 37
    Carodo 20 When I asked my husband to "pack my lunch"
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  • 38
    James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn How to fold laundry like me: 1) Fold it in half. 2) Fold it in quarters. 3) Put it on the pile 4) Watch as my wife angrily refolds it. 3:53 PM -6 Nov 2016 ← 17461 3,016 Follow
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  • 39
    Date Advan White This is why my wife and I don't share a tube. 이 Advanced Whitening
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  • 40
    Miranda Mayuiers @Miranda_TM #Marriage is essentially texting each other "Do we need anything from the grocery store?" on loop until one of you dies. #married peopleissues RETWEETS 8 LIKES 10 3:48 PM-7 Mar 2016
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  • 41
    11 Sending my wife subtle hints.
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  • 42
    Jeff @usermcuserface Wife: why are you breathing like that? Follow Ahh marriage. When you can be questioned for continuing to live. RETWEETS LIKES 331 540 9:10 AM 29 Nov 2016
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  • 43
    Cheers to... ...20 Years!
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  • 44
    Liz @myboots111 Follow Weird but every time I take my credit card out of my wallet I swear I can hear my husband cry 8:11 PM - 1 Mar 2015 h 7391 627
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  • 45
    she is a goddess to me my sun and my moon a luscious garden of beauty my ship through the storm and dat butt hot
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  • 46
    I came home and it took me 45 mins to find my wife. She is hiding in this couch. Pro tip: Marry your best friend.
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  • 47
    BABE!! JUST SHUT UP FOR 5 MINS
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  • 48
    I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE
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  • 49
    the key to a long relationship: keep the fights clean and the dirty your ecards someecards.com
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  • 50
    MY WIFE SAID SHE'D BE READY IN 5 MINUTES
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  • 51
    imgflip.com "DO YOU PROMISE TO SHARE THE MILK, THE CATNIP, AND THE KIBBLE FOR AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE?" "I MEW." "I MEW."
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  • 52
    James Breakwell @Xploding Unicorn 5-year-old: *dressed as Elsa* Zap! You're frozen. Me: I don't have time to play right now. Wife: Take out the trash Me: Can't. I'm frozen. RETWEETS LIKES 3,866 11,441
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  • 53
    YES DEAR..
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  • 54
    Kent Graham @KentWGraham My wife gives me the speaking treatment. 12:58 PM - 4 Sep 2014 1960 1,522 Follow
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  • 55
    mark Follow @TheCatWhisprer NEWLYWED: let's share everything VETERAN SPOUSE: your knee was on my side of the bed last night 11:31 PM - 20 May 2016 760 143
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  • 56
    Six Pack Mom @Six_Pack_Mom Follow Husband secretly lowers the thermostat & I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun. 3:31 AM 13 Oct 2016 - 1793 287
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  • 57
    Kent Graham @KentWGraham I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house. RETWEETS 1,775 LIKES 2,172 6:03 PM -20 Sep 2014
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